Brasília-DF – (DINO – Feb 24, 2017) – Are you dating from a distance? How about 12 tips to keep dating at a distance as if you lived in the same city? Before I got married I had some distance dating. There was a more relevant one, in the sense of having been more lasting. At the time I was 17 (16 years ago), the internet was dialed, we didn’t have whatsApp and the cell phone bill was very expensive. We communicated by letters and few calls. The courtship lasted almost 2 years and although the time has passed, I keep some tips that were essential for the distance relationship to have worked.
Obviously I adapted my tips from that time to the current ones, but people, there are things that never change and these are the ones that we have to fight to maintain.
Tip 1 – Be romantic (o). Send letters, even if you have all the internet and technological devices in the world at your disposal;
Tip 2 – Avoid digging through social networks and creating silly and unnecessary fights. You have to know that his / her life goes on, as well as yours, and that whoever does not want to take the relationship seriously and cheat, will do so even though they are by your side and living on the same street as you. Trust him, trust you and trust your relationship;
Tip 3 – Check the same programs for the two to do at the same time in the cities where they live. How about watching a series together on netflix, or going to the cinema to watch the same movie at the same time; or how about cooking together? You can turn on the computer in the kitchen, have a wine and each prepare the other’s favorite food. Is it difficult? Going to MC Donald “s is also worth it. How about something hotter? A long bath and the rest is up to your creativity;
Tip 4 – Sleep together whenever possible. Talk about your day, the news and allow yourself to sleep looking at each other, even through the computer screen;
Tip 5 – Do not try to compensate for the physical lack with the excessive presence on the cell phone. Make an appointment to talk (I suggest it is bedtime? Item 4). Don’t spend the whole day connected to each other. You have to remember that dating people who live close to each other doesn’t work that way. Yours cannot be different. Excess can be a real prison and can not benefit the relationship at all. It can become an obsession, so set a limit (no taking pictures to prove where you are and that you are telling the truth? Trust is 99% of the distance relationship);
Tip 6 – Never argue over the phone or message. Be patient, even if your desire is to hang you on Skype. It is best to cool your head and have a personal conversation when you meet or even on the phone, as long as you are very calm (o);
Tip 7 – Allow the other to go out with friends and have a normal life. “Normal” dating works like this: everyone has their own life, privacy and intimacy. It is not because they are dating at a distance that the other will only be able to leave if you are together. Take it easy and allow the other to live lightly;
Tip 8 – Visit it and make the most of it. Avoid fights when you are together. Establish a routine of travel and visits that weighs neither for one nor for the other. Set dates and stick to them whenever possible. This will decrease anxiety and the feeling that it is not worth it;
Tip 9 – Book trips together to a third location. Get out of their routine. This is good for both of them to be totally surrendered to each other, without thinking about work and the common things in our routine (paying bills, going to the market, etc.);
Tip 10 – Establish rules. This is the most important part of the game. Set a time to talk (not that you won’t be able to send a message in the middle of the day, obviously you can, but this will make your relationship look as normal as possible), schedule visits, establish how much how long it will take, who will and when they will visit the other, plan trips, establish days and times to be yours alone and in the others the partner will be able to plan to go out with friends, and everything else that you think is important to organize;
Tip 11 – Don’t listen to what people say about your relationship. A lot of opinions will come up that I’m sure you won’t want to hear. Great! Don’t listen! Who has to believe in the relationship is who is in it and not who is outside;
Tip 12 – Use distance to your advantage. I always thought it was great that I had a boyfriend and at the same time had time to take care of me, study, work, go out, walk around, meet other people and prepare to be and offer my best version for when we met.
That done, your dating will be wonderful and even better than many dating you have had in that person lived in the same city as you. Remember that most relationships that fail are people who live close to each other. It is not the distance that will prevent you from being very happy and the relationship